I was finishing my toast
and an article in the paper
about piracy of luxury products
when all of a sudden I could not dislodge
from my mind this vivid image
of a leering sociopathic captain
decked out in Johnny Depp black
with an eyepatch and a glinting earring
lording over a ship stuffed to the gills
(admittedly, a metaphor more fitting for a fish)
with phony Gucci purses,
cheesy Rolex watches and placebo Viagra.

Also, I could not dislodge
a vision of a whimpering
intellectual property attorney,
armed only with a temporary restraining order,
hopping down the plank
with a sword pecking his ass
as he approached an abyss
of watery and unbillable hours.