Facebook Sonsby Diane Hoover Bechtler
"No serpent's tooth so sharp as the words of a thankless child"… Shakespeare… King Lear
(Or in our cases the lack of words.)
What We Call Them
We call them our Facebook sons. Facebook is the only place we see them. It is our entire contact with our sons. Belinda and I are bewildered, mystified, and deeply saddened by our sons' complete lack of communication with us. We signed up for Facebook accounts so we could once in a while see what our sons were doing. It's better than nothing, but only a little bit. My son lives a few hours away on the East Coast. Belinda's son lives a few hours away on the West Coast. Either of our sons could easily visit. Or, they could pick up the telephone and call us, but they do not. These Facebook sons are our only children. Belinda doted on her son as I doted on mine. We took good care of our kids. We lived on the same coast when they were growing up and they saw each other often, as did Belinda and I. There was no Facebook then. But there is a Facebook now and this is what we get for doting on our boys. We are ignored and forgotten. Belinda called her son the invisible child. I say mine could've been hatched for all the attention he shows me.
Communicating with Facebook Sons
When something incredibly important happens in Belinda's life, she will e-mail her son and put the important thing in the subject line. She doesn't think he goes any deeper than that in her e-mails to him. My son does not even read my e-mails
I don't care what I put is the subject line. He asked me one time to please do the weekly digest, whatever that is. But it doesn't matter. He puts my e-mails in a folder and throws them all away on a regular basis. I send him voicemails regularly, but he never calls me back. That is wasted time also.
Belinda and I wonder if this is from some butterfly effect where we waved our arms in the 60s and waves of terribleness rippled into the future and hit our sons.
The truth is our Facebook sons could be anywhere. They could even be dead, and we would not know.
It was through Facebook that I learned my son was in a relationship. I suppose when my son gets married, he will post it on Facebook and that's how I'll find out.
I thought that social media was great when it first started. I had no idea the ramifications to come. But it has bitten me on the butt big time.
What the Future Holds
If they get married or have children, we will learn about it on Facebook.
If they die, someone better post on Facebook or we won't even know.
My brother uses Facebook to make contact with missionaries from his church. That seems noble, unlike the desperate pleas of mothers trying to get their sons to talk to them.