Men fork, women spoon.
Consider the cannibal theory:
the utensil chooses the sex.

Fork is a poker all right,
with extra tines for meat,
less for lettuce and love.

Spoon curves like a swan's neck,
shining for that special hunk
when he will not be caught.

Is Knife only the awkward
referee, a fat blade
twitching between two fires?

Let us not ignore
the amoral Napkin Ring,
poised to strangle

her rival, the Ladle,
by all accounts a devious
silver cutlery slut.