the gods xix by Donald Kuspit



i unburdened myself to you,

                                                     and when there was nothing left

to burden you with,

                                     i burdened myself with you,

carrying you through realms

                                                      of conscious disbelief

to unconscious belief.

                                          once a comfortable nest of meanings,

my consciousness fell apart

                 on the rack of doubt

triggered by a wonder

                  that outgrew its restraints.

ideas became weeds

                                       along ancient highways of thought,

which became byways of life,

                                                       detours of meaning

on a meaningless map of mind.

                                                           so i carried you as far

as my crippled consciousness could,

                                                                       through all the wastelands

of thought,

         safely arriving at the paradise

of thoughtlessness.

              my agony built an altar

in the ruins of my consciousness,

                            so i could worship you freely,

you being the first and last fruits

                                                             of my life,

grateful at last for its gift,

                                              which you and your love are.




2005-2009 Per Contra: The International Journal of the Arts, Literature and Ideas

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Donald Kuspit